There is one box in the order form that matters more than all the others, and it is the one everybody stares at for a minute before typing something apologetic like "she is just a really lovely person".
Good news: you already know exactly what to write. You just do not think it counts.
The mistake almost everyone makes
People reach for the big words. Kind. Selfless. Always there for everyone. Deserves the world. All true, all lovely, and all completely useless in a song, because they describe roughly four hundred million people.
The things that feel too small to mention are the things that make a song land. The nickname only three people use. The fact she calls the motorway the big road. The way he insists on carving the turkey and has never once done it well.
Adjectives describe anyone. Details describe one person. Give us the details.
Four questions that unlock it
If you are stuck, answer these instead of trying to write a paragraph. Two sentences each is plenty.
- What is the story they tell at every party? Everybody has one. The holiday that went wrong, the time they met someone famous in a Tesco.
- What do they love more than is reasonable? The dog. Their allotment. A football team that has not won anything since the nineties.
- What does your family tease them about? Affectionate teasing is brilliant material, because it is proof of belonging.
- What would you say if you only got one line? This is usually the sentence that ends up in the final chorus.
An example, before and after
Before: "My mum is amazing and has always supported me. She means everything to our family and deserves something special for her 60th."
After: "Mum keeps every school report we ever got in a biscuit tin on top of the fridge. She calls the M6 the big road and refuses to drive on it. She taught all three of us to swim in a freezing caravan park pool and still says it built character. She is turning 60 and pretending she does not want a fuss."
Same mum. The second one writes itself into a song, and the biscuit tin is the line that makes her put her hand over her mouth.
Things worth including
- Names of the people around them: children, grandchildren, the dog
- Places that mean something: a street, a seaside town, a pub
- One habit or catchphrase everybody would recognise instantly
- What the occasion actually is, and whether they want a fuss or dread one
Things you can safely skip
You do not need to write lyrics, suggest rhymes, or keep it formal. You do not need to explain the family tree. And you do not need to worry about length: a few strong sentences beat three paragraphs of build-up, every time.
You get to check our homework
Here is the part that takes the pressure off completely. Whatever you write, the finished lyrics come back to you before you pay a penny. If we leaned on the wrong detail or missed the joke, change the line or ask for a fresh version. Nothing is locked in until you say it is.
Ready? Have a listen to a few in the free song library, pick a sound with our guide to styles, then tell us about them.